"7 Habits of Highly Effective People"
by Steven Covey

Introductory concepts:

Paradigm: the way you see the world or situation.
Habit: a principle you internalize. Combination of knowledge (what to do), skill (how to do) and action (why to do). Example, treating customers right.

Dependent people - need others to get what they want.
Independent people - can get what they want through their own effort.
Interdependent: Require own effort and cooperation of others. Best type to be.

Character means that you have to assume your responsibilities. You don't have to wait until somebody tells you what to do. Your have to move for your own. In others word, you have to influence your external circle and don't permit it to drive you.

-as opposed to being Reactive: when something unplanned happens they react with negativity.
-You have a choice in every situation. Opposite of determinism. You don't have to react a certain because the way you were raised, etc. You can proact not react. You have free will.

Biblical: Hb 11:6 …without faith it is impossible to please God…
Rms 12:1-2 do not be conformed… test what God's will is…
2 Cor. 10:5 take every thought captive…
Gal 2:20 I live by faith…
Lot was reactive and lost his city.
Biblical Summary of principle: In every situation trust God for his best plan.

Applications:
Office things you have been reactionary to? Things you can fix but don't want to because you think it is someone else's responsibility? Habits to help you be more proactive in daily work and planning? When do you not react in faith (disappointments?)?
My app: proactively and prayerfully plan each work day and stick to it.

2. BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND (Leadership habit - purpose/direction)

You have to follow you own personal statement. It means that finally you want to be known or remembered as the person who always followed their dream. On other words, it is like a projection, we create in our mind our whole life but sometimes we forget our dreams and we lose our perspective.

Your funeral 3 years from now. What would you want these people to say ?
-friend, He was encouraging to talk to. Good listener. Always there for me when I had a struggle. Told me when something wasn't right in my life and loved me through it.
-family member - always available when needed. Proactive and planned for family activities and growth of children. Listened to Sandi when discouraged. Brought out and helped me find my strengths. Helped keep us united and close to the Lord.
-coworker - Got things done. Good attitude when something went wrong. Always knew how to solve problems and get long term solution, not quick fix. Fun to work for because he was so positive.
-church - Always listened and seemed interested in my life. Encouraged me to walk by faith. Didn't let me make excuses. Told me the way it was in a gracious way. Spurred me on to get closer to Jesus and read my Bible.

Don't tie yourself to your history, but your future.
Make your own mission statement. Continue to imagine it. Take time. Continue to refine it for changing needs and times.

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3. PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST . (Management)

The main idea is to looking for the differences between urgent and important things. After you assume your responsibilities, decide to take control of your life, and desire to follow your own statement, and then you have to start. You have to do something about it. It is a kind of simple thing but many people waste important time trying to start, because they can't see the differences between these two things (important versus urgent).

Important things are things that line up with your mission (habit 2). Urgent requires you immediate time and effort.
Helps you manage yourself to stay working on your top priorities.
Matrix
1. Important and urgent 2. Important but not urgent.
3. Urgent and not important 4. Not urgent and not important.
Spend all your time in quadrant 2. 80/20 rule. Take time from things in 3 and 4 and use it for 2.
How? Habit 1, be proactive, and follow Habit 2 - your purpose.

Memorize these practical statements:
Habit 4. Can we agree to communicate as long as needed to come up with a solution that we both feel good about.
Habit 5. Let me listen to you first. Then be understood.
Habit 6. Creatively think through new and better solutions.

4. WIN / WIN

It is interesting to note that you can apply this principle to any deal. In order to have a good deal, both sides have to feel that they are winning something; both sides have to feel that they are receiving mutual benefits.

*Can we agree to communicate as long as needed to come up with a solution that we both feel good about?

Have an abundance mentality. God will work a good solution for all parties.
Paradigm for human interaction.

Mindset that we can be creative and work hard enough to find a solution that is good for both of us.

5. SEEK TO UNDERSTAND FIRST AND THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD

In order to have a good relationship, you have to spent time first hearing and then maybe talking. Many times, we have the tendency to put our experience as the solution of many people problems. We hear with no real intention; we are hearing in order to convince, to put our ideas in first place. As a result, we have to suffer consequences.

Interpersonal interaction principle.
Harder initially to listen.
Shows that you love the person, that you respect them, and meets their heart desire to be understood.

*Let me listen to you first. What are your needs or desires? Restate their needs to show you have listened.

6. SYNERGIZE (Creative cooperation)

You can have incredible results working as a team. When you are working as a real team, the results multiply. For example, if you put two seeds together, these two plants will grow stronger than if they were separated. In other words 1+1= 3, 4, 6.

2 disagreeing parties work together to come up with solution. Often better than just saying we'll compromise.
Window example, Fresh air, draft bad for papers? A: open window in other room.

7. SHARPEN THE SAW (Self renewal to keep doing the 6 habits)

In order to achieve your goal you have to be prepared at least in four aspects, physically, mentally, socially and spiritually. You have to set aside time for yourself. Through this preparation you will be ready to face any challenge in your life.

Ex: Why not sharpen your saw? I'm too busy cutting tree (slowly).
Take care of 4 areas of your life to keep yourself going.
1. Exercise. At least 30 minutes every other day. Stretch, then take vigorous walk, etc.
2. Spiritual.
3. Mental.
4. Social.